As a 21 year old man what do most people have to deal with? Some deal with a car payment and insurance, or a cell phone bill. Some are in college and some have a job. While still others do nothing at all, quenching their thirst on the teet of american society. Regardless of what you do, ethnicity, race, creed, gender, sexual orientation, or any of that, just realize that what you do now with roll forward and affect you at a later time. At the age of 21 I have dealt with more than some will in the entire lifetime, seen more than some people will ever want to see, and yet I get up everyday with the full knowledge that today I could possibly see someone die in my hands. But I don't despair because I know what has been bestowed upon me, I have the strength and the ambition to conquer any situation no matter what the cause. I can create the anvil that stops an issue dead in its tracks, or I can be the electricity that helps move the car down the tracks. All in all I guess I'm saying, is know what the outcome will be before you make a decision. Yes life will throw you a few curveballs in the beginning, but out-think your outcome. It's the only way to truly know yourself and understand your meaning. I know that the ripples from my past are now rocking the very boat that I paddle in, don't make my mistake.......
So for a while I haven't been on this site, and I regret it. I didn't realize just how many people honestly and truly have energy bounding from here. I have been trapped on a road for the past few weeks that only few know a way off of. There are no streetlights, no signs for direction, and no rest areas. Only envy and jealousy light my way. But now I have figured a way off, to the dirt road less traveled (if I may). Although, in some of my previous posts I have made mention of jokers and clowns with facades that have stood in my way. But true redemption and success is not marked in what has been accomplished, but in what shall be accomplished. It is not marked in days that have passed, but in days to come. As a paladin, I stand ready with my shield to fend off those who seek to harm me, with my blade I intend to inflict righteousness. Not unjustly, but to those who truly are deserving. I have sat back idle long enough, now is the time in which I take back what is truly mine. My life, soul, and my love for those around me. I have been cold and callous to those that have been close to me, I cannot justify this nor will I. But I will try to rectify what I have wronged. I do apologize to those that I have caused harm, and I wish to send them a beautiful release of energy in payment for my wrong-doing.
A wise man once said, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never have loved at all." But how is this true when you have accomplished that, and yet still feel lost? Life can be a chaotic explosion of excitement, while still mellow enough to embrace and love with a completeness. So now that I have realized my wrongs, and have begun to try to right them. I ask you, please, use all of your energy for good. Don't hold on to bitterness, for it causes scorn amongst fellow man. A smile can light a person's day and extend across a mountain, while a frown can cause an entire townfolk to despise the light.
So as long as I have been in the Air Force, I've always felt like I wasn't being told something (go figure, it is the Government). But that's not what I mean. I always felt that no matter what training I had accomplished that there was always more that I could have but no one was telling me. So today my supervisor (one of the greatest guys I could have ever hoped to work for) Gonzo sits me down and asks me what my goals are for my future. I told him, and then he and I went down a street that I could only imagined existed. There he set everything out on the table for me, everything I needed, everything I wanted, and showed me how close it was to my fingertips. I'm in a state right now that little to nothing could bring me down from. I am ecstatic right now, I hope everyone can feel my positive energy through their screens, I have alot to share right now!!!!!
So the Air Force is on this big kick on how I need to get up well before my 12 hour shift begins. The last two days I've had to get up at 200pm so that I could either go to a staff meeting, get my gas mask fitted to me, or some other bs they feel is important. At which time, I show up to other offices and they are all over me not having something completed. Which in itself is crap, due to the fact that a week ago it was all current for a year... I guess the year has gotten shorter without me knowing. So 24 hours of work, 5 total hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, and four shots of whiskey into this blog, I've realized that no matter what they say about me being a vital part, it's all lies. They tell everyone who wears BDU's that same crap, and I know for certain there are some people than don this uniform and should still be in grade school. Oh well, who am I to critique someone else, it's not my place to judge, just to show my superiority. Not on all others, just those that are substandard to our little "system." Oh well, plenty of rambling, hope someone finds this amusing. Leave a comment.
First of all I would just like to thank all of you for accepting me into the community. I have been looking for someplace that I can "fit" in. The Air Force doesn't really look on Wiccans as they do everyone else, so I've had a piece of me "missing." I also want to thank my mom... Ladyhawke (go check out her page lol) for pointing me in the direction. She is the torch that lights my path and the rock in which I'm sure-footed. If anyone would like to know more, just let me know.
